Am I overspending?

boosted180sx said:

haha. i am not going to lie, i made a very bad decision when i was young and had CC debt up the behind. Spoke to my parents about it, explained to them the situation and what my plan is and they helped me pay it off to get me out of it. Spent the next few years of my life paying them back and thanks to them, i am sitting at 800+ credit score. You live and learn. If it wasn't for them, i'd probably have a low credit score and not be able to do anything that required credit.

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yes, that is what your family will do for you if you are completely honest and transparent! They also don't want to see you in pain, so they will help in anyway they can.

Sometimes the helping is actually hurting. The best lessons in life usually hurt the most. Plus, learning to make it work with your own devices is much more rewarding but help is not bad when doled out responsibly.

I think that depends on the persons mindset and if they truly believe it was a mistake or just looking to get a free hand out.

boosted180sx said:

I think that depends on the persons mindset and if they truly believe it was a mistake or just looking to get a free hand out.

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Totally agree. Help is great when it doesn't become a crutch. Knowing their is a "bailout" though, kind of teaches you it's ok to live risky and not plan. I am no stranger to getting help as I've made some truly craptastic decisions earlier in life.

krees said:

Sometimes the helping is actually hurting. The best lessons in life usually hurt the most. Plus, learning to make it work with your own devices is much more rewarding but help is not bad when doled out responsibly.

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boosted180sx said:

I think that depends on the persons mindset and if they truly believe it was a mistake or just looking to get a free hand out.

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Yes, the right way to do this is to loose something you really love to learn a hard lesson! But if the individual receiving the bailout package is honest, and not out to cheat his/her family, then the bailout package might be ok. Don't forget, it already hard to approach his/her family for bailout in first place, as their "eagle" will take a hit...

UFO CTR said:

Yes, the right way to do this is to loose something you really love to learn a hard lesson! But if the individual receiving the bailout package is honest, and not out to cheat his/her family, then the bailout package might be ok. Don't forget, it already hard to approach his/her family for bailout in first place, as their "eagle" will take a hit...

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Totally. Making tough decisions and dealing with the consequences builds strong character!

krees said:

Totally agree. Help is great when it doesn't become a crutch. Knowing their is a "bailout" though, kind of teaches you it's ok to live risky and not plan. I am no stranger to getting help as I've made some truly craptastic decisions earlier in life.

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yeah definitely. If your constantly asking for a bail out, i think it's time for them to put a stop to it even if it is your kids to make them learn a lesson.

This is the most civil financial accountability discussion I think I've seen on the forums lol Well done folks!

My family is very important to me, so I will die before I loose my family's trust (even my 10 year old hot dog, Jasper) I am nothing without my family!

My dad told me right after I turned 17 and had worked and saved from my piss-ant summer job I busted my ass on that he'd go half-sies on my first car. It was $4600... a(nother) '86 turbo Z (yeah, I have a problem) in immaculate shape. It was totally unexpected but they'd tied money I'd worked and saved through my earlier teens and from a grand each my grandparents gave me when I was born into a relatively high yield CD (it was the late 90s... those were still a thing) so when it became time to buy my own car, the account that I never really did anything but put money into didn't have the thousands I'd had in it... only a couple hundred dollars.

I made around 2500 or so working on a farm for minimum wage the summer before junior and senior year... wanting to have my own car that year and when I was looking at 2-3k cars that were ragged out... he told me to pass then said he'd cover 1/2 of a really nice one. A total shock to me because when I saw the price for the car an hour's drive away... I dismissed it but he said we should just go look at it anyways.

Then, after we bought it... me, having never driven a manual car before, other than a tractor... my ass got left to learn to drive stick the whole way home with that smile and chuckle he had saying that, it I wanted to ever make it home... If figure it out. Yeah. I got home... eventually.

It's a burden and priveledge to be able to help your kids. Each one is different with different needs. If you let someone drown, then the swimming lessons were ultimately unsuccessful. I was very appreciative to my dad (I still am) that he helped me. He knew I'd settle for something less or keep working to make enough to get something better. He judged that he wasn't hurting me at that point by spoiling me and did so anyways. That's the only time I can recall, I ever really took money from my folks other than the obvious growing up expenses as a kid and all the god-awful money that takes anyways. That drive back from Ocala was also one of the most exciting and nerve wracking hours of my life.

I am in a similar situation. I bought my divorce present back in 2018 (a Polaris Slingshot SLR). It cost me about $35k @ 3%. I didn't think it would be too much for me because I didn't have a car note. Last year though, my daily driver blew a motor (EVO) and so I had to drive my other used car (MR2). After spending over $20k on a newly built motor and restoring all the external issues on the car, I ended up parking it. The MR2 became a chore and driving in it daily was excruciating. I ended up selling the MR2 and getting in more debt with my new CTR (~$36k now). Have I overspent? Yes, of course. Is money tight every month? Yes, it is. Am I worried about losing my job and not being able to pay my bills? Yes, but I have a decent emergency fund.

At this rate, all I can do is overpay on the CTR car note so I can get it paid off fast. It's the most valuable of my possessions and the one that I should keep. Having said all of that, just pay off your car in the next 5yrs and then get back on track with the house/savings. You only live once and if you still love the CTR, I see no reason you should give it up. Just have to be patient and accept your money will be tight for the next 5yrs. It'll pass though.

boosted180sx said:

haha. i am not going to lie, i made a very bad decision when i was young and had CC debt up the behind. Spoke to my parents about it, explained to them the situation and what my plan is and they helped me pay it off to get me out of it. Spent the next few years of my life paying them back and thanks to them, i am sitting at 800+ credit score. You live and learn. If it wasn't for them, i'd probably have a low credit score and not be able to do anything that required credit.

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Well the funny thing is my family members are... in worse spots then I am. They had impulsive spending habits, and in the case of my dad who did not, he got screwed with the obscene bills my mother charged to her cards when they were married and they divorced.

I basically have the most in savings in my family, by a large margin, due to how I chose to live my adult life so far. Most of those decisions were influenced by watching my family struggle with debt as I was growing up. Not going to college kept me out of absolutely ridiculous student loan debt, and choosing to live at home allowed me to build up my reserves. I still am building the reserves up, but it’s at a much slower pace now.

As for what to do with the car, well there’s two ways I can look at it - I can be better off financially in return of being worse off emotionally, or I can be worse off financially and be better emotionally. No matter how hard I think about doing it, there’s a very strong emotional response to thinking about going to the dealer to get rid of it. Whether or not that breaks is another story, but right now especially with the recent health issues that has been something going on in my head for a while. A third option is throw a ton more cash at it and refinance to drop the payment by a significant amount, but also take another chunk out of my savings in the process.

All of this discussion is really helpful though, and unlike reddit where you would get shit on, it’s been super civil here and most of all constructive. Glad to be a part of this community, and I doubt even if I did end up getting rid of it I would leave here.

I had a similar situation a few years ago. Crap happens, my wife and I kept our car and worked hard to pay it off. Luckily it was two of us and we managed. However in this case if you do not want to loose that huge down payment dealing with the negative equity you could really cleaned up the Rav 4 and sell that and take the profit to either pay off a chunk of the car debt or other debt or put it towards savings. By removing the gas/maintenance/insurance of the rav 4 the R becomes more affordable with out eating that massive loss.

Its a capable car in all situation if you winter you can save up for cheap 18's and decent winter/all season and keep that on if you choose all season. Grab a side gig for weekends, and hammer down that debt or focus those monies to down payment and invest it. you have options and I don't think the Selling the R is your best option considering the cost you ate just to get it financed.Focus on building your position at work and work up the income ladder. I have always personally looked for ways to increase my income so I can have flexibility in life. Could be anything to investments, education, second job, or even starting a business can you help achieve that goal.

Personally I would bit the bullet keep the car and pay off the loan and still pay myself even if its 25/month. That's just me and I know I tend to go not the usual route, has worked out well so far. Have been burned along the way but you live and learn ^^

Hope it works out which ever direction you go.

Zeffy94 said:

Well the funny thing is my family members are... in worse spots then I am. They had impulsive spending habits, and in the case of my dad who did not, he got screwed with the obscene bills my mother charged to her cards when they were married and they divorced.

I basically have the most in savings in my family, by a large margin, due to how I chose to live my adult life so far. Most of those decisions were influenced by watching my family struggle with debt as I was growing up. Not going to college kept me out of absolutely ridiculous student loan debt, and choosing to live at home allowed me to build up my reserves. I still am building the reserves up, but it’s at a much slower pace now.

As for what to do with the car, well there’s two ways I can look at it - I can be better off financially in return of being worse off emotionally, or I can be worse off financially and be better emotionally. No matter how hard I think about doing it, there’s a very strong emotional response to thinking about going to the dealer to get rid of it. Whether or not that breaks is another story, but right now especially with the recent health issues that has been something going on in my head for a while. A third option is throw a ton more cash at it and refinance to drop the payment by a significant amount, but also take another chunk out of my savings in the process.

All of this discussion is really helpful though, and unlike reddit where you would get shit on, it’s been super civil here and most of all constructive. Glad to be a part of this community, and I doubt even if I did end up getting rid of it I would leave here.

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well then ... damn.
This is the big debate then. "I can be better off financially in return of being worse off emotionally, or I can be worse off financially and be better emotionally". Like I said previously, i saw my friend who did that but ultimately ended up right back to be better "emotionally" as it gave him more motivation to work hard and get better. Everyone is in a different situation so noone can answer the question except for yourself.

Have you thought about the option of getting rid of the RAV4 and putting it towards your principle? Or using that money as extra cash to refinance?
That can also be a possibility.

In the end, it's ultimately up to you. If you decide to keep it, you can downsize a wheel and get cheaper tires. Maintenance shouldn't be all that bad on a CTR.

The RAV4 is basically a utility vehicle for my family. It’s come in handy since otherwise it’s my CTR or an ILX, and while the CTR has a ton of space I don’t permit putting extremely large items in it and risking ruining it. Plus, I don’t like driving the CTR in winter because last time I did it, I found some hidden slick spots, and nearly had a heart attack because of it, and other drivers when it’s slick out I hate being anywhere near. The RAV4 is basically going to see the salty/snowy weather, while the CTR stays in the garage.

Once I put my all seasons on (which would coincide with whenever the weather actually stays cold) I should be fine since those tires should still have plenty of life in them, and my summer tires only have about 7K on them or so which means I don’t need another.