Why I'm considering leaving the forum

[Civics4Ever]

@gtman My friend, your advice and offers of advice to others here is invaluable. Step back a bit, and don't worry so much about others problems, they will figure their problems out. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, losing a soul mate is terrible. My second wife, who was my 1st girlfriend back in high school, is going through breast cancer treatment now. Prognosis is good and I hope she lives many more years, but it's scary.
Prayers for you, may you find some peace.

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[rwk226]

Only reason why I'm even tuned is because of you GTman, I remember when you initially PM'd me about considering posting my car on the thread. I wasn't even tuned at the time (but I knew of you and your forum), but got excited to see you had messaged me lol. Because of your work and dedication I felt confident tuning and am glad I did. Sadly it can be a thankless and sometimes worthless-feeling task, helping others, but you'll get what you deserve one day. Sorry to hear of your circumstances as well, wish you the best.

Thank you for the work you do. I really hope others come around in posting to your reliability forum, it only benefits us CivicX owners and it takes at most 5 minutes of time.

 

[xRiCeBoYx]

I feel like a dick because I missed the part about your loss. My sincerest condolences

 

[ugaexploder]

man, i was just thinking ab you earlier and meant to post how much i appreciate all your hard work with that reliability/tune megathread.

hope you dont leave man…sometimes as people we need to do a better job appreciating those who go that extra mile. myself included need to voice that more often

Thanks brother

 

[RetroRacer1980]

We appreciate you and your constant contributions to the forum. I’m also very sorry to hear of your loss.
I wish you nothing but the best, and truly hope you stick around GT ??

 

[ValkenDnB]

Have you adjusted the throttle response and throttle padding? Sometimes that will smooth things out a bit.

https://www.civicx.com/forum/thread...es-throttle-responsiveness-and-padding.55955/

I did. Deceling was for some reason worse on soft compared to standard which was weird. I even toned down throttle response to 1 down from 2. Not sure if I was heatsoaked or not, but after a couple small 3rd gear pulls here and there I was getting a ton of sluggishness off the line. It felt like my clutch was slipping or something. (it wasn't) So I just flashed back to stock. Do you have any idea at what temperature your IAT2 have to be to signify heatsoaking?

 

[shoegazer]

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[Doc_Mello]

@gtman My second wife, who was my 1st girlfriend back in high school, is going through breast cancer treatment now. Prognosis is good and I hope she lives many more years, but it's scary.

I’m a Survivor, also, 1.5 years clear. She has my sincerest thoughts and hopes! A random guy on the internet, I know, but Survivors Unite! ????

 

[Civics4Ever]

I’m a Survivor, also, 1.5 years clear. She has my sincerest thoughts and hopes! A random guy on the internet, I know, but Survivors Unite! ????

Thank you so much! Congratulations and prayers for your continued good health.

 

[The Bad Guy]

It's safe to say that the site wouldn't be the same without you, but I do agree that you should take a break and let the forum collapse on itself, then come back and save the day.

 

[SmokeGhost]

Sorry for your loss @gtman i think you need to take a break from lifes stessors and travel or go in nature. whatever it is you do when life hits too hard to get back up from. when my mother passed away last year i went hiking and camping across the country to give me some solace. You have to focus on yourself and find the way forward. this forum is just a virtual place for community and you need real people and places especially now. just focus on the positive and not the negative(this forum) and take a well deserved break.

im a noob on this forum and will never modify my car(only wheel/tire setup) so i wont be much of a contributor to your efforts.

 

[NukeKS14]

Definitely getting burnt out. But when guys like JR tell me they don't understand the low participation, considering the 1,000's of tuned owners here, I take it personally. I guess you're right, I shouldn't let this bug me but it does.

I don't have a lot of happy going on since my wife died and I need a project like this to keep me busy.

I've been keeping this rant inside for a while and wasn't sure if I should post it but for my sanity I had to. I guess I'm just old, or old school and I'm still not used to people not wanting to help out.

That's all fair and I'll echo the sentiment of others here; I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that but I hope you find some peace and closure in whatever you choose. The grieving process can be rough and I sincerely hope you find a constructive way to process that heals you.

I am a Honda novice but I have a lengthy background in Nissans. I bounce between a few forums (KA-T, NICO, Zilvia, etc...) and have been fortunate to be a part of and watch the community change\grow over the past 20+ years, more specifically with regard to the 240 scene but the car scene in general too.

It's been my experience that, and I know this is going to make me sound like a grouchy old coot, people are way more narcissistic and self centered in present times. I've watched my close circle of enthusiast friends dwindle and I am fortunate to still have many of them close. We collect and trade parts in our little circle and share knowledge/experience/updates on our own projects and still do what we can to further the community. It's ALWAYS been a gripe of mine when people post up threads requesting help and then just ghost the forum the second they solve their problem. No update on "hey I solved it, here's what the issue was" You're always going to have that and I've made peace with the fact that 99% of people treat the forums like an Amazon dot "Hey (site) do for me." and that's the end of it. I'd say google search but if most people could be bothered to do that, over half of the troubleshoot threads wouldn't exist.

On the other hand, I've also learned to define my close group of enthusiast friends by the contrast that they aren't at all like everyone else. You're herding cats online my friend. I wish people would willingly comply and understand that ultimately they're contributing to something greater but the vast majority won't spend an ounce of effort beyond what it takes to get out what they want. And that's ok. I've taken to contributing to troubleshooting in my forums when it suits me. I don't do it for anything but the sense of fulfilment I get and when it starts becoming negative, I move on. I appreciate that I've been fortunate to meet some people like myself and most of us would bend over backwards for each other. That alone to me is worth the frustration of weeding out the leeches.

You don't owe anyone a damned thing. The community is fortunate to benefit from your efforts but as soon as that becomes a drain on your mental health, it's time to let it go. That can be the most difficult thing to accept. Not trying to convince you to leave by any means but, respect is a 2 way street. It also doesn't have to be binary. I take breaks from some of my forums for months at a time if I have something going on in my life or things begin to seem toxic. Generally the group of people creating that environment will move on or the mods cull them.

I hope the many pages of responses have been cathartic. It definitely sucks to see good people go through the wringer and give up. You're certainly quite valued here but if you are getting abused, and that's what it is, then... maybe a short hiatus would be good. My great grandpa used to tell my great grandma "I can't miss you if I'm here." (taken a little out of context, but still.)

 

[Zombie]

Dont leave.... i have been through pages..upon pages of that thread, it has pushed me closer to pulling the trigger on a tuner.... i appreciate the time and effort.

Thank you.

 

[Sall]

What bolt in u have and Tune? How much power u making? You blew pass that type r like your on the highway, I'm guessing around 320hp? Torque?

Full bolts on custom tune, check gtman reliability post, everything is there

 

[gtman]

So, I tried to let this slide but I had to post it. Asked a Type R guy to post up a 5 minute tuning reliability survey.

His answer? That he'd post a video of his car but there was too much typing and won't do a survey.

Nice.

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