My severe anxiety is making me dislike driving my car

[BABY NSX]

Hi Zeffy, I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said. I’m not that familiar with anxiety and depression but I’m behind you, bro. I know a lot of people deal with anxiety and depression and everyone deals with it on a personal level. No one person is the same. Life circumstances, medications, your physical health all come into play to make the final product of what anxiety and depression does to you.

did your depression get worse with all the Covid stuff going on? I know that a lot of people that don’t have anxiety and depression are anxious and are depressed because of all the Covid stuff that’s happening. People are social animals and with all the social distancing we’ve lost a lot of connections and some people feel like there’s no hope and what’s happening right now because they don’t see an end to all this Covid. Just try to treat your little world in your home as normal. That nothing is going wrong, nothing is going to happen to you, and just try to keep the stimulus low and find your happy place. Everybody gets anxious and depressed and people just need to find their way of coping.

As far as your car if you do not feel safe while driving then I would not drive. I know a guy with a 1967 Corvette that sat in his garage because he has diabetes and he will have hypoglycemic episodes where his blood sugar drops and he passes out so he cannot drive his car. He knows that it’s not safe. I think your situation is more optimistic than his because I feel that you will be able to rise and handle your anxiety and depression. But for now just let it sit in the driveway, I wouldn’t sell it or anything.

Don’t do anything that drastic right now. Try to keep things status quo while trying to eliminate any triggers for your depression and anxiety. Maybe make a list of things and see how you feel when you read each item. I realize that driving your car before was something that made you happy but don’t turn it into a bad thing that now you can’t drive your car. Just look on the side that you are doing the right thing by not driving it. You are in control of what happens. Don’t let situations fall on you and become a victim of circumstance. You will be strong and you will overcome.

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[frontlinegeek]

Hey Zeffy. As you have seen, you are not alone.

I joined this illustrious group a little over 3 weeks ago with little in the way of confirmed anxiety before hand and went right into a full blown panic attack that put me in emerg. Thought I was dying and the works. They ECG'd me and did an enzyme test to be sure I didn't have a heart attack but just the same, the impact was had. Great way to start 2 weeks of vacation at the family cottage.

I spoke with a mental health nurse at the hospital and that helped calm me down more in the moment. She listed off basically everything a few posts back. Drop caffeine, alcohol, THC, etc... She also strongly recommended physical activity when feeling the onset of anxiety even if it is as simple as a brisk walk for a click or two.

My fun got made even worse last week with a surprise kidney stone that taught me what REAL pain is. Now, after the lithotripsy treatment, I am stuck waiting, one more day as I post this, for the follow up xray to know if it worked or not. Anxiety is definitely way up. And the pain was so bad when it happened that the vomiting it caused, has left one of my eyes with a mild far edge peripheral distortion that is VERY slowly going away. But being one of those idiots that googles things, I started feeding into the loop. Thankfully, I got to speak with my optometrist and he is not concerned so now, I am less concerned

I have yet to have time to get to my family doctor to speak with her but I will soon do that. I agree that this all indeed sucks and bigtime but one of the things the mental health nurse also told me is to not put a negative label on the anxiety or the panic attack but find a way to relabel it so that it is more of a new form of personal challenge. She also strongly recommended NOT staying away from triggers either. Even if, for your car, this means just cleaning it and driving it very short distances. I had to go back to where my panic attack happened and yes, I was rather nervous about it.

Right now, mornings are the worst. Fortunately, I am one of the lucky people that gets to work from home during all this pandemic fun. My wife and one of my best friends deal with chronic anxiety so I was always familiar but now I am, like you, right in it. Talking about it and sharing is good so it doesn't stay stuck inside.

One day at a time my friend. One day at a time.

 

[Gruber]

SSRIs and alcohol are a bad combination and personally the effects of alcohol make me extremely anxious. I hate how it makes me feel

Yeah, of course alcohol may not be a good pairing with many kinds of medications. I meant instead, as a less extreme and safer cure than the drugs you are taking.
It's individual though. For many people alcohol is a bad idea, like coffee for me. I have no problem with ethanol, like a DI engine.

 

[BABY NSX]

I spoke with a mental health nurse at the hospital and that helped calm me down more in the moment. She listed off basically everything a few posts back. Drop caffeine, alcohol, THC, etc... She also strongly recommended physical activity when feeling the onset of anxiety even if it is as simple as a brisk walk

My fun got made even worse last week with a surprise kidney stone that taught me what REAL pain is. Now, after the lithotripsy treatment, I am stuck waiting, one more day as I post this, for the follow up xray to know if it worked or not. Anxiety is definitely way up. And the pain was so bad when it happened that the vomiting it caused, has left one of my eyes with a mild far edge peripheral distortion that is VERY slowly going away. But being one of those idiots that googles things, I started feeding into the loop. Thankfully, I got to speak with my optometrist and he is not concerned so now, I am less concerned

She also strongly recommended NOT staying away from triggers either. Even if, for your car, this means just cleaning it and driving it very short distances. I had to go back to where my panic attack happened and yes, I was rather nervous about it.

A nice walk is a great idea. That helps me to clear the head and changes the environment a little.

A little off topic but kidney stones I can relate to. Passed two in the last few months. Couldn’t do lithotripsy Due to hospitals not doing procedures due to Covid unless emergency. Had one like 6 years ago and each was different. #2 was in April on my birthday, after 40 I’ve been getting birthday diagnoses, go figure? The vomiting was similar to you. Man, glad you vision is getting better. #3 popped out of the kidney due to the tamsulosin I was taking.

This is interesting. The mental health nurse said do not avoid triggers for anxiety? I wonder how that works? Very interesting. Wonder if it’s like facing fears and desensitizing?

 

[frontlinegeek]

This is interesting. The mental health nurse said do not avoid triggers for anxiety? I wonder how that works? Very interesting. Wonder if it’s like facing fears and desensitizing?

She said that by not going back, it ran the risk of creating a negative mental classification of that place. That it would be seen as a bad place more permanently.

And ya, turned 45 at the end of last month. What a great treat! Anxiety AND kidney stones! LOL!

 

[BABY NSX]

She said that by not going back, it ran the risk of creating a negative mental classification of that place. That it would be seen as a bad place more permanently.

And ya, turned 45 at the end of last month. What a great treat! Anxiety AND kidney stones! LOL!

Gotcha, no negative classifications. That’s a life lesson for everyone. We need more positives especially in the world we are in now.

Yeah weird, right??? Birthday diagnoses!!!!

But hey, the more birthdays you have, the longer you live...

 

[Zeffy94]

This is interesting. The mental health nurse said do not avoid triggers for anxiety? I wonder how that works? Very interesting. Wonder if it’s like facing fears and desensitizing?

If you create a fear of something because of a negative experience, you will basically associate it with that negative experience. I've been going for walks and letting my heart rate increase to tell my mind "it's OK for my heart to beat fast and nothing bad will happen".

Hey Zeffy. As you have seen, you are not alone.

I joined this illustrious group a little over 3 weeks ago with little in the way of confirmed anxiety before hand and went right into a full blown panic attack that put me in emerg. Thought I was dying and the works. They ECG'd me and did an enzyme test to be sure I didn't have a heart attack but just the same, the impact was had. Great way to start 2 weeks of vacation at the family cottage.

I spoke with a mental health nurse at the hospital and that helped calm me down more in the moment. She listed off basically everything a few posts back. Drop caffeine, alcohol, THC, etc... She also strongly recommended physical activity when feeling the onset of anxiety even if it is as simple as a brisk walk for a click or two.

Ahhhhh, welcome to this hellish club! Panic attacks are just the worst thing. There is no reason why you should feel like you are dying, but that's what ends up happening. When I go to my GP tomorrow I'm going to tell him I've been having panic attacks and ask for an ECG / blood tests to ensure I'm healthy. I had a blood test a few weeks back but that was before the anxiety and panic attacks increased in severity and number.

I've found that I can do 3/4 decaf and 1/4 caffeine coffee which while it makes me a bit jittery, it doesn't make me as anxious as doing full blown caffeine. I tried going without caffeine yesterday and the level of fatigue and the headache I was getting was just bad, so I caved and went to Wawa for a quick fix. Helped the rest of the day tremendously.

 

[frontlinegeek]

I've found that I can do 3/4 decaf and 1/4 caffeine coffee which while it makes me a bit jittery, it doesn't make me as anxious as doing full blown caffeine. I tried going without caffeine yesterday and the level of fatigue and the headache I was getting was just bad, so I caved and went to Wawa for a quick fix. Helped the rest of the day tremendously.

I love my coffee but luckily for me, I wasn't hooked on the caffeine so when I went cold turkey 3 weeks ago, it didn't have much of an effect on me. I have some decaf to have in the mornings if I have to have the taste. I did try having a caffeinated coffee a few days ago and it didn't seem to bother me right away but hard to say with all the other fun ongoing this past week.

I should note one of the other things the mental health nurse said was to stay well hydrated and don't fight eating as that can be a bad feedback loop. So I replaced my coffee with a lot more water. I had picked up a new Yeti Rambler and a magnetic top for it a few months ago and with no need for it to be a coffee to work replacement, it was duty free until now. And now, it is full of water and sipped from all the day long.

 

[Zeffy94]

I should note one of the other things the mental health nurse said was to stay well hydrated and don't fight eating as that can be a bad feedback loop. So I replaced my coffee with a lot more water. I had picked up a new Yeti Rambler and a magnetic top for it a few months ago and with no need for it to be a coffee to work replacement, it was duty free until now. And now, it is full of water and sipped from all the day long.

Oh yeah, I am drinking a ton of water now. I go through at least 2 bottles and several glasses a day. Me and coffee go back 5 years ago - when I started working at my full time job - and I found out how amazing caffeine is in the morning. Before that, I just drank chocolate milk in the mornings.

 

[Davewoo]

CBT. That's what you need. No that's not a typo, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Xanax will mess your brain up, so work on getting off that.

 

[James3spearchucker]

Oh yeah, I am drinking a ton of water now. I go through at least 2 bottles and several glasses a day. Me and coffee go back 5 years ago - when I started working at my full time job - and I found out how amazing caffeine is in the morning. Before that, I just drank chocolate milk in the mornings.

Chocolate is even more potent than coffee sometimes for me. Btw I have been roasting my green coffee beans and they have less caffeine than the store bought coffee beans. I use a small cast iron pan and have to stir them constantly for about ten minutes. It's fun. I have yet to roast all the world's beans, only 3 Ethiopian varieties so far. I drink coffee about every other day.

As for heart and anxieties jeez lately I have worried more due to feeling gassed while playing tennis and mountain biking at 9k elevation. Then in the evening I felt rhythm go bad a couple of times. Both situations can be explained. Tennis was in sun at 100 degrees. Biking uphill at 9k feet over rocks aint easy but it still saddened me because reality is the our bodies really are changing.

A few years back I didn't sleep for 3 days. The best thing was going to a psych hospital where a room full of people waiting for hours chatted before being called in. Finding other people going through things and talking was a HUGE relief. They didnt accept me but meeting great people was fabulous. I think going iphone-free and traveling do me good. Feeling that i am working each day on bettering my life would help me. What thoughts help and what thoughts hurt you? When I was earlier 40's and focused on my mortality, I really did worry much. A nurse told me that my heart was not that vulnerable but I was admitted once for vaso vago so both concepts told me that I should relax and never think about my heart. A few weeks ago I was listening to my own heart rate every other moment. Thank goodness I stopped doing that. It isn't always easy but good distractions get us ahead in many ways especially when we are learning new things that stimulate our minds. Remember to enjoy the beautiful things around you. Life should not be spent worrying, right?

For driving, I love rowing my gears as it keeps me busy. Worry can affect any car. I did put fatter rubber on my Civic because I still watch the road surface but it is less critical now it seems. Good music really helps entertain me. I don't have a Type R but to me its a very nice car and definitely fast. I would rent or borrow a pickup truck for a week. I did for two weeks and when I got my Civic back I loved it soooo much more than before.

 

[wintercast]

First.. you are not alone. I admit i did not read every comment here, but i see many others that have similar issues.

I also was diagnosed with GAD. I also get panic when i am the passenger in the car. That is worse for me.

A while back i posted about my overall fear of driving and fear associated with driving manual. I was brand new to manual, and well - i got over a lot of the fear and as you can see from my avatar - i got my manual

I still have good days and bad days. I am female - so i think some of this is linked to hormonal fluctuation.

I also learned something - i have an eye issue that is binocular dysfunction. Now mine is more for close up vision. But, it can make a person more anxious or nervous and even feel motion sick when just sitting still. It also does stuff like making you feel like you are moving backwards in a car when at a stop light, or it can make you second guess things in your blind spot.

I dont take meds, i basically always have a really negative reaction to meds. If they are working for you- that is great and just follow your doctor's recommendation, but also listen to your body. You are your best friend.

I was really helped by the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. There is a new version, but you can get the older version to save some money. Reading through that has helped. You dont have to read it cover to cover, you can even just read sections that really deal with you.

i have a kindle, but i got both as paper books.
https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1684034833

I also found help in the Illustrated Happiness Trap book.

https://www.amazon.com/Illustrated-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1611801575



Deep belly breaths - really push that diaphragm. And when a panic attack hits - breath through it, get on a cold floor (a cold bathroom floor in the dark is my go to) and as silly as it might be, i make the faucet drip. That drip seems to help ground me. My panic attacks often make me feel like i am floating or falling.

As for the car : If you really gives you that much anxiety - get rid of it. But, your issues might be short lived and not forever - so, perhaps you just need to love yourself and give yourself some time. While learning manual - i took a lesson with one of the few driving schools that offered MT cars. It was a huge boost to my confidence. And something that might help you. It might seem odd, but perhaps just driving around in some 300k mile MT mazda with an instructor might help.

As someone else said, switch tires. Smaller rims with a thicker sidewall tire can help soften the ride and also remove anxiety of pot holes or damage to the car. Tire rack has good packages and you can save on shipping if you pick up from one of their locations. I know there is a location in DE for pickups which saves me like 80$ on an order.

Anyway - you are not alone.

 

[Byron Sexton]

Keep us posted Zeffy

 

[Zeffy94]

Went to the doctor today, explained everything. Had an ECG done and they are going to compare it to the one done in February at my routine physical. Doctor said the chest pains are very likely just anxiety and that my heart and lungs both sound good. He also prescribed me an alternative to Xanax (Budespar? Something like that) that can help manage things until the Lexapro kicks in fully. He did say taking one pill at .5mg dose 4 times a week for a few weeks isn't likely to make me dependent on it, but I'm trying to avoid it unless necessary.

I was able to drive my car without too much drama, but the experience was kind of mediocre. I kept fumbling shifts which doesn't shock me with how much less I've driven it, but the ride in comfort mode has this weird overdampened effect on a lot of the roads around here that makes the car extra bouncy, which made me feel off.

 

[wintercast]

Went to the doctor today, explained everything. Had an ECG done and they are going to compare it to the one done in February at my routine physical. Doctor said the chest pains are very likely just anxiety and that my heart and lungs both sound good. He also prescribed me an alternative to Xanax (Budespar? Something like that) that can help manage things until the Lexapro kicks in fully. He did say taking one pill at .5mg dose 4 times a week for a few weeks isn't likely to make me dependent on it, but I'm trying to avoid it unless necessary.

I was able to drive my car without too much drama, but the experience was kind of mediocre. I kept fumbling shifts which doesn't shock me with how much less I've driven it, but the ride in comfort mode has this weird overdampened effect on a lot of the roads around here that makes the car extra bouncy, which made me feel off.

I can understand the odd feeling in comfort. It is like i dont want a ride that feels like my ass is dragging through every pothole making my teeth chatter - but some of those over dampened cars like "towncars" etc have this very bouncy pillow like effect that makes me feel downright sick to my stomach.

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