Finding your purpose in life?

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Approaching 49, i've been in the same industry almost my entire working life yet feel i've achieved nothing. On the other hand, i dont feel like i want to achieve anything now career wise either. I quite like what I do, the pay is pretty good, the hours are good for home life, childcare etc. We get our time off and (when Covid free) the holidays we enjoy. Enough ÂŁ to enjoy the car, cycling and stuff so life's generally ok.

Got some major regrets of things I feel we should have done, life before kids, but didnt feel confident enough to really go for, own business, new country etc. I think that's the worst bit, wondering what could have been if..., i'm terrible for it. I love the mountains, it's where i want to be, where i want to end, just can't find a way to be there permanently and make a living now.

One good friend told me once, "You can look back at the past, but don't stare". I need to remember this more.
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bay_hatch

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Ever since i've graduated college 4 years ago, I felt out of place. I live in the silicon valley where everything is cut throat competitive and imposter syndrome is real. I've studied computer science at a local state college and loved programming, but with the market now, it makes me dread making the move. I work at a company with a decent salary (not really for bay area standards) but wish I could do more, but don't know how or have lost the motivation to do so. Everyday is just another passing day where I keep myself busy with small hobbies.

Hoefully I can figure out what i passionately want to do by 30.
 

svffr

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I think we have all been there at some point in our lives. I will be 30 in 3 years and I feel like I'm not where I want to be. I never knew what I wanted to do coming out of Highschool and I started working in a Factory when I was 18. I was lucky enough to show the right individuals in the right positions that I am not a machine operator and that I could be useful in more specialized areas. I moved on up into Quality Control and that is where I have been ever since. Do I like it? Not really but its what I am good at and it pays the bills. I am particularly in a crappy situation (that I put myself in) because I am smart enough to do my current job and I'm doing fine in it but I don't have that 4 year degree so I am low balled in my salary and its honestly depressing. I am stubborn as hell and refuse to put myself into student loan debt to do a job I am currently performing well in but I know any major company won't hire me because I don't have that piece of paper. I have certifications, experience and knowledge but without that paper you are screwed and that has me feeling lost in life. Either way I am going to keep on pushing and showing that I am competent in what I do and hopefully one day I am compensated for it!
 

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I think we have all been there at some point in our lives. I will be 30 in 3 years and I feel like I'm not where I want to be. I never knew what I wanted to do coming out of Highschool and I started working in a Factory when I was 18. I was lucky enough to show the right individuals in the right positions that I am not a machine operator and that I could be useful in more specialized areas. I moved on up into Quality Control and that is where I have been ever since. Do I like it? Not really but its what I am good at and it pays the bills. I am particularly in a crappy situation (that I put myself in) because I am smart enough to do my current job and I'm doing fine in it but I don't have that 4 year degree so I am low balled in my salary and its honestly depressing. I am stubborn as hell and refuse to put myself into student loan debt to do a job I am currently performing well in but I know any major company won't hire me because I don't have that piece of paper. I have certifications, experience and knowledge but without that paper you are screwed and that has me feeling lost in life. Either way I am going to keep on pushing and showing that I am competent in what I do and hopefully one day I am compensated for it!
This is literally me. I started a few years earlier, and sprinkled in some tech school courses over the years and am now in an engineering position and grossly underpaid, even after 3 years. I work with a couple dinosaurs that will either retire or die in the next 3 years, at which point I'll reevaluate my worth to the company. Or have enough experience to move on elsewhere.

22 years in the same industry and I'm damn near 40. Go back to school and get that degree. Seriously, I had the same mentality as you did when I was that age. The cost of school will be offset 10 fold in the long run.
 


svffr

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This is literally me. I started a few years earlier, and sprinkled in some tech school courses over the years and am now in an engineering position and grossly underpaid, even after 3 years. I work with a couple dinosaurs that will either retire or die in the next 3 years, at which point I'll reevaluate my worth to the company. Or have enough experience to move on elsewhere.

22 years in the same industry and I'm damn near 40. Go back to school and get that degree. Seriously, I had the same mentality as you did when I was that age. The cost of school will be offset 10 fold in the long run.
I've been thinking about. One of my parents recently retired from the military and when their disability claim is approved I am (and all my siblings) supposedly entitled to free college up until a 6 year degree. I am considering it!
 

HustedDrums

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Okay - here's the deal.

I've done my passion for work. A lot of times it does not work out. I've learned in life that your passions are not always the best thing to choose for work. Yes, it is important to enjoy your work. I found it is important to be passionate enough to be curious. Curious enough to learn more about your craft. Curious enough to always want to learn and improve at your work.

There is always going to be something that is going to get you annoyed, upset, angry - that is going to make your work not enjoyable. It's always going to exist. No matter what company you work for, or whatever path you choose in life, there is always going to be some sort of BS. It is what it is.

My advice would be to find something that you have interest in. I love cars. Always have. My mentor taught me that you sometimes just have to pivot into something else. You don't necessarily have to leave the company you're in and work for. My passion is cleaning and detailing cars. Always have. Ever since I got my first car, it always had to be in pristine condition.

I did that for work for a little while. Money was better at the time, but it was starting to take a toll on my body. The sheer volume of cars I was doing - I knew it was not going to be good for my health in the long run. My mentor also told me that you don't want to be the richest man in the graveyard. I do not envy people that have 100 million in the bank, but have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I'd rather make less money and have good health.

I've since moved into Car Sales. I've tripled my income in less than a year. I'm not recommending that you jump into sales. It's not for everybody and not everyone can sell a car & my results are not typical. What I can say is - Read more books. Self help books & autobiography's at night time (helps keep you motivated/not as stimulating as a self help book.) All of my success has been because I've invested into my brain. People can take away your house, your cars, your furniture but people can NEVER EVER EVER EVER take away the knowledge in your brain. Why do you think Donald Trump got out of Millions of dollars in debt? Because he knows things that we don't.

Learning to pivot and adapt are going to be the keys to your success. You have to deserve what you want before you get what you want...
 
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Doc_Mello

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I've been thinking about. One of my parents recently retired from the military and when their disability claim is approved I am (and all my siblings) supposedly entitled to free college up until a 6 year degree. I am considering it!
Do it! Fantastic opportunity many people wish they had.
 

17RGuy

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I was in that same position with hating what I did, where I worked, and especially where I lived. My wife and I at 27 quit both of our jobs and moved to Texas from Minnesota. Best decision we ever made.

Fast forward to now, I’m 35 and have worked some amazing jobs (2) since I’ve lived in Texas. I was a welding shop manager in Minnesota, but down in Texas I came out of my shell and have been in technical sales roles since. 2 years ago I made a move into an industry I had no experience in and have not looked back. I work to live, and am making a salary and bonus I never thought possible.

My recommendation is put yourself out there and make it happen. I was a crotchety old 27 year old pos until I completely got out of my comfort zone. Life is about networking and talking to people. That’s it. Whether good, bad, intelligent, dumb, rich, poor... TALK to people and doors will open.

As others have mentioned, I don’t believe anyone is truly happy with their career. A job should be enjoyable and make you feel like a valued part of the team.

Everyone in every position at every company is replaceable. Your company will not care if you leave as much as you want to believe otherwise. Once I understood that mentality, I got out in the job market and landed a great sales role when we moved to Texas. Never sell yourself short. At 35 I can tell you I don’t regret anything... at 27 I would have told you something much different.
 
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You should do it you cant beat free!!!
 


MaxPower

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Approaching 49, i've been in the same industry almost my entire working life yet feel i've achieved nothing. On the other hand, i dont feel like i want to achieve anything now career wise either. I quite like what I do, the pay is pretty good, the hours are good for home life, childcare etc. We get our time off and (when Covid free) the holidays we enjoy. Enough ÂŁ to enjoy the car, cycling and stuff so life's generally ok.

Got some major regrets of things I feel we should have done, life before kids, but didnt feel confident enough to really go for, own business, new country etc. I think that's the worst bit, wondering what could have been if..., i'm terrible for it. I love the mountains, it's where i want to be, where i want to end, just can't find a way to be there permanently and make a living now.

One good friend told me once, "You can look back at the past, but don't stare". I need to remember this more.
Are you me? Couple years younger than you (but literally, just a couple), been in the same industry since graduating college...job is secure, hours are what I make them, and pay is pretty good...enough to fund my various hobbies and keep my kids/wife happy...yet I can't help but think about what I could've done differently.

You can look back at the past, but don't stare
I love this quote. I've heard it before in other contexts, but always worth reminding myself.
 

longthaitran91

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Just hit 30 a couple months ago. I’m still looking for my purpose. Had roughly around 12 jobs since 2008. Only types of jobs I never had was physically demanding or office related. I don’t like dealing with customers and my bad back doesn’t let me do hard physical labor for extended times. I could never find my place in them except the Uber one. Maybe. My family keeps on pestering me to another job, but right now I just want to enjoy my “work when I feel like it mentality”. I know it’s more of an illusion because I work all afternoon almost everyday, but if I can choose if I want to work or call it quits early. I just hate being told what to do all the time.
 

1981CBX

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Though I found my way, eventually, I sometimes wish I left the US for South Africa when I got out navy in 1980 to help them fight communist in a meaningful way during their Angolan border war.
 


 


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